If you been on the net, looking into the t-community, you have been at her site or seen a link to it. And I guess you, as I did, got a wow-feeling when you saw her on her site.
Eilin has that little extra, that make you come back for more. Yes, even look through the pages over and over again.
Fortunately, Eilin agreed to make this interview, because she wasn’t sure if she was going to do it. I was to meet her at a local café eleven o’clock in the morning. I was a bit nervous since it was my first interview, my first meeting with her in real life. What if she came dressed in her PVC-dress?
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was late, all girls are late, and arrived first twenty past. There were
no doubt, who was entering the Cafè, and when she smiled her gorgeous smile
at me, I almost melted. We shook hands, and I almost stumbled over when
she gave me a hug. Eilin looked as a normal girl, dressed in brown jeans,
an orange sweater under her coat and the nails in the same colour as her
lips. She ordered a cup of tea and I had problems not to stutter too much,
but it didn’t take long before our conversation made me calm. Eilin
is just a charming, sweet person to be with.
You know, I wasn’t sure of if I should do this interview, she says. Why not? She light a cigarette, looks out the window and then at me, with a smile.. Got to keep something for the imagination to those who visit my site. If there isn’t some kind of mystery in there, they won’t find it exciting. So the goal of your page is… …To make my guest feel a little thrill in their stomach, that it was worth the stop, she says and takes a sip of the tea. ..Okay, I do get a trip out of it myself, she continues. It's my fantasyland and hopefully some others too. If you go back in time, when did you discover this side of you? Eilin leans back in her chair, placing her left leg over the other. I guess it has always been there. It ain’t just some idea you get as a teenager when your hormones goes wild. I remember I one morning, must have been five years (old), when I sneaked into my parents sleeping-room, took a pair of my mum’s stockings and tried them on under the dinner-table. What a thrill that went through my body, not knowing what this excitement was, but I still remember it. So that’s your first knowledge of your T-personality? Yes, I think so. I had many episodes like that one until I passed the twenties. Lived through all the usual cycles a T-girl do, before she accepts herself. You mean? You know, buying girl-clothes, throwing it away promising yourself NEVER to do that again. Then buy a new wardrobe… Wondering if there’s something major wrong with your head. Gay? Wanna be a girl, wanna be a boy? Scared of getting caught. Getting caught. |
If there isn’t some kind of mystery in there, they won’t find it exciting.
What a thrill that went through my body...
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Can you tell me one episode you was discovered? Eilin laughs and looks at me with her twinkling eyes. She doesn’t talk loud, and when she leans over, it’s like she’s going to tell me a secret. There been many…. You know, T-girls are the best of both worlds, I guess. The feminine so fem that no RG can live up to it. And then we have the sexual freedom from the male part… One time, I think I was 22, I drove in my car only wearing, a pink corset, stockings, trousers and high heels. It was summer and I had the music playing loud, windows open to feel the wind when I drove the highway. I came to a turnpike and took an automatic box at the other end from the manual box, where a woman sat . I put the money in the box, but the bar didn’t rise…… Eilin sips her tea, let me sit there waiting for her to continue. Yes? I say, eager to hear what happened. She light up another cigarette. Well, I almost panicked. No I think I did panic, cause I didn’t have anymore change with me. So there I sat almost naked in the car, dressed like a slut, no make-up, no money, staring at the toll-woman which stared back. -Here she comes, I thought. I couldn’t turn around since it was one way…… Seconds felt like minutes, but for some reason she just opened the bar. What a relief! I later found out that they were monitoring the boxes, so when she looked at her monitor, she might have got more scared than me. There has been some episodes like this one. Some more scary than others, but I think it’s up to yourself, Where you go and how you dress will always give you attention. |
So there I sat almost naked in the car..
Where you go and how you dress will always give you attention. |
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In a way, I’ve become a photoholic. |
To
create those images you find at Eilin’s little Cyberworld demands much fantasy and a good portion of skills. You make them yourself, does it take much of your time? You mean my site? Yes, and no. I mean, to create the images takes a lot of time, but I enjoy doing them. In a way, I’ve become a photoholic. Always looking for new ideas to make some images. I try to let the pictures tell the story, so that’s the reason why you won’t find that much text. You can look at it as a photo-book, I guess. Do you manipulate your photos? Ups, shouldn’t have asked that question. Got the lightning from an angry Mistress eyes. Here comes the whip… And when I barely dare to look at her, I am filled with anger. She looks just like in the photos, even better..? Relax, she says. I understand your question, but you ought to be glad you’re not a sissyslave right now. I do not manipulate my body or face, though it happens I give it more light or colour. But the backgrounds… You’ll never find me standing at the airfield exposing myself, so they are heavy manipulated. Are all backgrounds created that way? No, some are real, but I won’t tell which one… Find out by yourself, she says and looks at me with that smile again. |
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I just wanna be me, a girl, and do the things I like to do.
I think everyone should be able to live what life they want |
Going back to your adolescence. I don’t remember, and it’s not important to me. I just know I found it boring to try convincing myself that I was either a girl or not. I just said to my self; You are what you are, let’s keep it that way. And it was too expensive throwing all my clothes away twice a year. Instead I started to pack away the clothes when I was not in the girlie mood. Do you live full time? No, it happens I’m disguised as the opposite sex. Many people ask me what kind of gender I consider my self. And to that question I can only answer; Them all! CD, TG, TS, TG or what you wanna call it, isn’t important to me. I just wanna be me, a girl, and do the things I like to do. Have you ever considered to go all the way? I can’t do that, can I? I know what you mean, and yes, I have considered it, but there are so many advantages in both sexes that I don’t think I’m going to go through a SRS. Though it would have been really nice to have my own breasts.. I’m still looking for the button that change you from one sex to the other. Some fishes have that capability, and maybe we will one day too. It would have been a dream-become-true-thing… And your family, do they know? I know some of them know, but it’s not something they talk about. I guess, specially my parents, look at it as a non-talking-object. I can live with that. Whatever your interest are, you can’t press it on someone else. As long as you don’t hurt anyone else, and treats them with respect, I think everyone should be able to live what life they want. I can not expect my parents - another generation - to understand my way of living. But I expect that they respect me, and they do. I love them, and don’t wanna hurt them or our realtionship. |
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Eilin has to go to the toilet and I can’t avoid looking at her from behind. She moves so elegant, and I’m not the only one who notice it. Two teenagers are staring, and I understand that they are talking about her. When she arrives, I have to ask her if she isn’t afraid to be discovered. And you? She replies. Are you afraid of getting caught ? No, I answer, not knowing what she means. There’s nothing to be afraid of in the daytime. If people see through me, they are often too shy to say anything. You can always run into a no-brain gang of youngsters, but the danger is in the night when people have been drinking. You just have to take some measures. But there are days I don’t feel secure, or let’s say not convinced that I am girlie enough. Days like that I walk around feeling that everybody knows. But actually I don’t often go out like this. Eilin looks down in the empty teacup, pulling her blond air to the side. Then she suggests we shall go for a walk. The thing is, she says when we walk into the park, when you are nervous or don’t have the right confidence, you start looking at people. Are they looking at you? Can they see what you are? You have to learn from the real girls. They never look at others while they walk, cause they know it can be taken as an invitation. So when a nervous t-girl is out on the street, she’s panoramaing every person to see if she’s been taken by her clothes and she’s really giving an invitation to look at her. And they do. You have to look confident, and keep your eyes on something "boring " further down the street. |
actually I don’t often go out like this.
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We sit down on a bench, the sun is shining, and some business-people passing by in a hurry. You had your first site at the geocities deleted. Now you’re building up a new one. Are you afraid that the same will happen again? Not really, but you got to know that we’re talking about the American morality here. They don’t see things the same way as the Europeans. Why was it deleted? Nudity. But it wasn’t real nudity. Well that’s a lie too, cause I did have some images that was a bit over the limit. The thing was that I did a job for Castle Supply’s, who are producing vagina-prostheses and made some pages wearing them. Not the real thing, just rubber, but too much for geocities. So one day, there were no Eilin’s cyberworld out there. Gosh, I thought. In some way I felt a relief, I could start from the scratch, but at the other hand…I knew what kind of work that was laying in front of me. I almost gave it all up. We are all glad you didn't. I promise you won’t find any nudity (sorry guys&girls) at my new page, but hopefully it will be an erotic and exotic place to peek at. I try to make it easier to navigate in it, and not to mention; keep the imagefiles down in size. I leave immediately a page that has three 100Kb-images. Hint to those webmistresses out there. I did once consider thumbnails, but then the surprise-effect would be gone. |
you got to know that we’re talking about the American morality here.
hopefully it will be an erotic and exotic place to peek at. |
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Life is too short not to enjoy it.
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What about your search for the rich zillionaire? Eilin laughs, puts out the cigarette, and I… I can’t get my eyes of her longs fingernails. I’m not rich at all, and I wanna live, you know what I mean? So the idea was that, if anyone has the money to spend, we can have a lot of fun together. Don’t take it wrong. It’s not a hidden prostitution-ad, just a wish to live life and have fun with someone with the same interests. Life is too short not to enjoy it. I think I need a winning ticket in the lottery. You have many different styles on your site. Is there a favourite, and what’s the reaction from the visitors? We are so individually different. I get many suggestions on what my visitors want to see me dressed in. Some want more PVC, others high boots, extremely long nails, smoking, you name it. I can’t say I have any favourite, it depends on my mood. One day, I’m a bitchy teenager, the next a Mistress or just a ordinary girl. It’s a good life to be a T-girl, cause you can be absolutely whatever you want and I love it! You must receive a lot of emails. How do manage to answer them all? I don’t, and for some of them I have a bad conscience. I apologise here and now! I love to hear opinions about my site, and I’ve been so lucky that they all have been written in a positive way. But I don’t answer those who just tells me what they want to do to me, and wants nude-ones. It might be the way they feel, but hey! If that’s the only thing they get out of it, let them have it. I’ve met some really nice people on the net, and some I have become real close to. But your site does have the odour of, if I may say so, sex ? It’s a balance that is very difficult to make. We all have some sort of limits in our morality. Yes, as I said, I want it to be exotic, but not vulgar. Though vulgarity can be exotic too….. |
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they have an opportunity to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, a lover/mistress, a soulmate , the perfect partner
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Talking about sex, are you in a relationship? Nope. Has any of your earlier relations included Eilin? Yes, some really got turned on, but others couldn’t live with it, even though they were totally "crazy" in bed and other places. You quickly see if a person can handle the both sides of you. And if they can’t, I don’t bother getting involved in a relationship. Girls sees us T-girls as a threat to their own femininity. They are afraid that they aren’t feminine enough for you, and I don’t get it. Here they have an opportunity to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, a lover/mistress, a soulmate , the perfect partner. But they rather prefer a beer-drinking footballmaniac, I guess. You prefer girls? I love them! I love them so much that I even have become one
myself. But the erotic universe has so many strings that I can’t say I haven’t seen some handsome men out there. It’s not if they have a bulge or not that matters. What’s inside do count a lot. There’s a pause in our conversation, I catch myself staring at her beautiful face thinking that there might even be a chance for me…. I wake up from my dreams when she ask what time it is. I follow her through
the park to her car, chatting as we’ve been friends a long time.
The smell of her when she gives me a hug… I try to remember it for
as long as I can. Eilin's Cyberworld |
